Even Angels Cry
by KogaxAyame's cub
Summary: She was left broken from the war that took the love of her life away; now she's trying to put herself together again while attempting to find a new love.
1. Chapter 1

Author Note: Here's the first chapter of the sequel to Love and War, because – as it turns out – I do actually have a heart. I hope you guys like this, since everybody wanted for him to live so badly (and I did too, I hate the thought of soldiers dying).

Disclaimer: I own nothing Sailor Moon

* * *

Even Angels Cry

Chapter One

* * *

"That was a great jump, Sydney." I compliment to the young girl that smiled a broad grin my way. She was adorable, all bouncing brown curls and brown eyes. I was helping the young cheerleading girls out, since their coach had hunted me down and begged for assistance. Even though my first year of college was keeping me on my toes, it was no match sure my determination. I was acing all of my courses with no problems, even the fillers that I wasn't interested in.

"These girls sure do love you." A masculine voice spoke up from behind me. I turned around to see my best guy friend, Andrew. Every time I looked at him I was reminded of Darien, the love of my life that had passed away over two years ago, back in the middle of my senior year, so I only knew him for only about a half of a year since he had stopped writing approximately five months before I was notified about his death. A week before the news, I had celebrated my seventeenth birthday.

Despite the lack of replies, I had tried to write. I must have sent him thirty letters that never got a response, and possibly never got opened. The worst part about Darien's death, the absolute horrid fact that killed me inside, was that there was no body discovered, only his dog tags. Dog tags aren't ever a good sign of identification, though. I was lead onto two different ideals. 1.) Darien was still alive, since no body was found and 2.) His boy was so badly mutated that dog tags were the only things left over.

"They admire me, because I've always been a cheerleader. And maybe because I still look great in my high school uniform, which the school willingly gave to me because I was dubbed their 'best cheerleader ever'." I boasted proudly with a giggle. "Anyway, Raye's still in her college class so I was thinking that maybe you would want to walk along the boardwalk with me? I'm restless."

"It sounds like a deal to me." Andrew nodded in approval and took a seat to watch the last ten minutes of practice. Once I made sure all the girls' parents were there to pick them up, I willingly left with Andrew. "You're really great with those girls, you know."

"Those little girls mean a lot to me." I shrugged. "Besides, it feels good to know I'm helping them advance in some skill or another. Darien… he would have liked to know that I was making myself useful, you know? He was always encouraging me to make an impact and I guess I did. It's nothing big, but it's an impact. And that song I song on Veteran's Day about him… it made people think. He always wanted people to think." I responded as my mind drifted back to the boy.

"I know you're still crazy about him Serena, I can see it in your eyes. Hell, I can hear it in your words and feel it radiating off of your body. It might not be anytime soon but I hope that, some day, you'll be able to open your heart enough to let me in." Andrew spoke quietly. I got silent and I looked up at his towering frame, observing him as we walked.

"Giving it a try can never hurt, can it?" I asked with a light smile. Andrew seemed eccentric. I wasn't feeling the same way. I was still in love with Darien but maybe I needed to try to move on, and Andrew was interested in me. I always thought that I'd never want to be with another man but I was sick of the emptiness eating away at me. I was tired of being alone. I wanted somebody that could wrap their arms around me in the middle of the night and pull me close. I wanted a family.

-0-

"Do you think angels cry, Raye?" I asked, hugging my knees to my chest, as I sat on my bed at our shared apartment. "I mean, I know they're superior beings compared to you and me, but do you think they're above the ability to cry?"

"Nobody's above the ability to cry, Serena, not even angels." Raye responded as she studied my face for a moment. "Sweetheart, everybody gets hurt at some point or another. Crying is a way to release some of the pain you feel. It won't make the problem go away, it might not clear your head, but it will let you unleash emotions that you shouldn't hold in. A person who refuses to cry is unhealthy. Crying doesn't make a person weak, it makes them strong to be so vulnerable and continue; it makes them real."

"It's hard to believe, sometimes." I whispered silently with my chin resting on my knees. I looked down at my freshly painted sparkling silver toes. "A lot of things in life are hard to believe, actually. I still can't grasp the idea that Darien's dead. Part of me is screaming that he's still alive because there was no body found. The only part is warning me that his body is so butchered that dog tags were the only thing salvageable. They couldn't have announced he was dead unless they had proof though, could they?"

"I'd really love to believe that he's alive and out there for your sake honey but, like you said, they can't just pronounce a missing man dead. He'd be listed as MIA, not deceased. And they wouldn't have sent you to a funeral and taken you through all the pain of the folded up flag and twenty-one gun goodbye." Raye, my more reasonable half, pointed out.

"I know that… I know… but I don't accept it. I don't think I'll ever be able to accept it but I'm trying to move on. Andrew is my boyfriend now. I agreed to date him, figured that it might do me some good to attempt a relationship. It doesn't feel good Raye; it feels like I'm cheating on Darien." I mumbled.

"Serena, it seems like all that counseling didn't do anything to help you. He's dead baby girl, you wrote your final letter to get him go. Your mind disconnected with him, now your heart needs to. You're so full of hope it kills me Serena but Darien is gone and he's never coming back." Raye spoke in a soft tone but her voice felt like a twisted knife straight to the heart. I felt the stinging sensation of metal sliding into my flesh, I swear. How could something hurt this bad without me even bleeding? Then I realized I was.

"I need to go to the emergency room, Raye." My voice was soft and broken.

"Why? What's wrong?" Raye was quick to ask, concerned laced through her voice.

"I'm bleeding." I whispered.

"No you're not Serena, I don't see any blood anywhere."

"That's because it's inside me. It's in my heart." I mumbled before my shoulders rocked with tears and I tried so hard and fast that I could barely manage to keep breathing, taking these short lived gasps of air. I fell into her embrace, wishing it was Darien instead. I had never felt so alone in my life, not even after my father's death. Screw the bleeding, I was broken.

* * *

Darien

* * *

My mouth was as dry as the desert sand that was lying before me. My heavy eyelids opened up and I looked around the room I was in, confused. An Asian man leaned over to me and my eyes rolled back up towards my head. Did Heaven really consist of Asian people greeting you as soon as you woke up? He lightly shook me and spoke to me. I almost didn't understand the language, Vietnamese, as first. Then it sunk in that he wasn't speaking Vietnamese at all. The man was talking to me, plain and clear, in English with an Asian accent. "Stay with me here…."

"God, where am I?" I wondered out loud. The last thing I could recall was the torture camps and those ridiculously long trips through the deserts while they would beat my legs with metal bars. I threw my legs over the bed and stood up quickly, ready to move away and get far from these people. My head spun and I tripped backwards and onto the bed again. "Monsters… you… monsters…"

"Calm down, everything will be alright." The man spoke carefully, reassuringly.

"You… tortured… me…. You… tortured… my… men." My voice managed to crack out. I tried to ignore all the pain shooting through my body. What kind of sick people would beat the blood out of me then nurse me back to health? What was their plan, to torture me until near death again?

"Then you saved one of our people, an innocent child." The man responded.

"What... what are you talking about?" I groaned.

"It must have been too near your fainting to remember. But, yes, you saved a child. They had taken you out on one of those many long walks to the river, to get them water by hand. There was a young boy there and some men were holding him beneath the surface. They said you bravely charged after them with bloodied arms, legs, face, chest, back, and stomach, single-handedly taking down all the men in a hand-to-hand combat in under a minute. You pulled the boy from the river and performed CPR. You saved his life. Unfortunately, it almost cost you yours. One of the men on the ground pulled out his gun from his unbroken arm and fired quite a few rounds into you… You've been in a coma for nearly two years now." The man, who appeared to be a doctor, explained.

"A two year coma? Oh God, Serena…" I whispered quietly as the tears started to come to my eyes. "Serena, Serena, Serena!"

My entire body was throbbing with pain. I was confused and lost. Yet all I could think about was the picture-perfect girl from back home. All I could see was her smile, her eyes, her body… I could only hear her laugh. What about the rest of the army? What did they think had happened to me? Why wasn't I being nursed back to health in America? In California, with Serena by my side?

"If you don't mind me asking… how did somebody as skilled as you get taken prisoner in the first place and why didn't you escape?" The doctor pressed curiously.

"I did it to save the spot from some of my men. I struck a deal for them to let a few of my boys go, in exchange for me. And, yeah, I could have escaped but I didn't. I knew that I could get away but not everybody could. I wasn't going to have them kill my brothers because I decided to runaway from my problems. I'm pretty pain tolerant; I've lived a good life." I recalled.

"How old are you?"

"If I've been in a coma for two years… then I guess I'd be around twenty-one to twenty-two." I said. Serena would be around nineteen to twenty. She'd be in college right now and had probably moved to some college far away from California and everything that reminded her of me. She was probably having a great time with the love of her life and planning out a family, mapping out a house. I ran my hands through my hair, frustrated and hurt by the thoughts that were plaguing me.

"I need to get home, why am I not home?"

"The battle was and still is too bad to send you there. If you're going to go home, you must make the trip back yourself somehow or another." The doctor replied. "I'm Dr. Yamotoko by the way."

"Darien Shields." I nodded my head towards him. "I appreciate you helping me back to good health and everything but I have a life I need to return to. I hope that you understand that. I have somebody special in my life… and she probably won't be when I return."

"I'm sorry Mr. Shields. I wish I could have done something." He said and I actually saw the sorrow in his eyes. They say you can learn everything about a war from hospitals. I was sure that the man had seen enough destruction in one lifetime. I dropped my eyes to the ground and steadied myself. I wasn't used to walking and I should have needed a ton of physical therapy but I forced myself to straighten up. Dr. Yamotoko handed me my uniform. I took it into my hands.

I changed into the nearby bathroom and looked into the mirror. The suit itself had been cleaned up nicely and covered the scars from three bullets. With my combat boots laced up, I made my trip out of the hospital. Everybody smiled at me and every mouth said the same words 'Thank You' in Vietnamese. I smiled back, too, but my heart wasn't in it. My heart was with Serena.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Great news! Both of my brother's won their first rounds at Toughman and went to the next day. My one brother was scared and siked himself out to lose though, so he looked awful. My other brother, Trevor, almost won. He and Tyler gave the crowd a go for their money and Trev had an amazing uppercut that almost stopped the boy. When Tyler got up, Trev threw wasteful punches and ended up losing. It was an incredible time though. The one guy said he had been involved for thirty-two years and it was the most exciting and intense fight he's ever seen :-]

Disclaimer: I own nothing Sailor Moon

Sorry guys, my uploader would not work! Grr!

* * *

Even Angel's Cry

Chapter Two

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"What brings a young girl like you to my office?" The woman, Dr. Cline, asked with an eyebrow raise. She frowned, her face concerned. "You look like you're only as old as my daughter, Amy." She looked over the papers I had previously filled out. "In fact, you are only as old as my daughter. According to your psychologist it's a love thing?"

"Dr. Cline, with all due respect, this wasn't your average love-lust-broken-up high school fling. I really was in love with this boy. I don't know how it happened and I don't exactly know when it happened but it did. I can't get over him, I'm so attached to him it isn't even funny." I sighed, trying to hold back the tears. "He understood me, he really did."

"So what exactly happened with this boy?" She asked politely as she put her clipboard down. My guess was that she had only looked over the first part and nailed me as a depressive young girl who was hung up over an old boyfriend.

"He died." The tear I tried to hold back started spilling out and her face was completely shocked. My body went weak and I hit the ground, on my knees. "He had nobody to write to so he asked me and then he stopped writing to me and I got the news that he was dead."

She didn't say anything, just got down on the floor beside me and hugged me tight. I didn't know her, not until five minutes ago, but she reminded me of better days and nicer things. I felt the sympathy radiate off of her body. Suddenly, sympathy didn't seem so bad… I didn't care that she pitied me. Right now, it was exactly what the doctor had ordered.

An hour later, my swollen eyes had gone down and I was walking into Wal-Mart to hand in my prescription. I felt like everybody was looking at me. All eyes on the pale girl who looks half dead even though she used to be the happiest thing in the world with her soldier. Long live the zombie chick! I didn't care what people saw or thought; I was still going through a lot. I thought back to what Dr. Cline had told me after I finished crying…. With determination in my heart, I called Andrew.

I couldn't stay in California and wait for a hopeless dream to return. I couldn't sit around and wait for a miracle to happen. Darien was gone and I had to face that fact. I had to get close to Andrew and get over my teenage dream. I had to move on from false hopes and wishes that I spent every 11:11 on, for the past two years.

Who was to say that I was the type of girl Andrew wanted to be with though? Would he really want me after he knew I was deathly in love with his best friend? Had he even known about all the times I attempted suicide or stayed up crying my eyes out. Did he know I prayed for his best friend to return to me, every night? Did he know that when we hugged I wish it was Darien hugging me instead of him? Would I ever be able to feel anything other than friendship towards Andrew, or would my love for Darien and guiltiness get the best of me?

* * *

Darien

* * *

"You're fine, Dare…" I whispered to myself, trying to boost my ego, though my legs were weak. I had lost a lot of muscle and I wanted to build it back up, as soon as possible. I was strong, but I wasn't that strong. It was obvious that somebody had moved around parts of my body to keep my muscles slightly toned. They had supplied me with good nutrition and, for the most part, my built figure was about the same.

The sun was beating down on me. Apparently, the war was taken back to the desert again and out of the dense jungle. The orders had been sent out: Nobody was supposed to harm me or they would be killed. Apparently saving a child's life over your own was a big deal here. Back home we called it common hospitality. Who wouldn't try to save a kid's life? I couldn't fathom it.

My boots left prints into the hot orange sand. I was sweating and it was becoming even harder to push myself the distance. I knew that my footprints wouldn't last – with the next sand storm or dry wind they'd be pushed away – but it was the idea that they had been there. If only for a moment I had left my mark on the barren land. If only in memory, I had been somewhat a hero to my enemies. Yet, for a moment, I felt more broken that any of my bones had even been. I was hurt and destroyed. It seemed like somebody had thrown my heart in a blender. The chances of ever seeing Serena again was next to none.

Andrew might have been able to hear about where she went but I was doubtful that I could stop anything she was in. I didn't want to stop her from anything she was doing. It was her life to make decisions and I didn't want to walk back in and ruin it. This whole time I had planned to go back to California. This entire length of my life had been spent on thinking about a girl who I needed to let go. It wouldn't benefit her for me to come back to her, and it wouldn't benefit me either. We'd both be heartbroken.

Yet I didn't want to go another minute without her. I wasn't sure if I could bear the pain of not seeing her. Even if it wasn't towards me I wanted to see her smile. I might not have been able to put the smile on her face but at least I could enjoy it – indulge in her beauty – if only for a fraction of a minute. I was in love with her and I wanted nothing more than to have her happy.

I had a lot more on my plate right now, like trying to decide how to get home. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, unsure of how I was supposed to balance my life out. I was in a haze of worries and pain and there was nobody to turn to and no direct answer. I could pray to a God, that I wasn't sure I believed in anymore, but I knew that (whether or not I threw my blind faith into him) he would never answer me.

I pushed myself, trying to force myself the energy to keep walking. My weak legs caved on me, unwilling to go another step. I groaned as I braced my palms on the burning hot sand, trying to ignore the pain and get back up. I had miles of barren land to cover yet my body wouldn't move. Alone in the desert, beneath the unforgiving sun, I found myself trapped in a suffering body that wouldn't move. My stomach twisted and I lurched to my knees, holding it, only to puke a couple times and throw my body away from it. I hit the ground and rolled a little, my legs twisting and intertwining.

I squinted my eyes against the sun, feeling a presence. There was a coiled dark object near me. I closed my eyes as a dry wind blew sand towards my face. Once the wind died back down I noticed what the object was, now not as silhouetted by the sun.

I had only heard rumors of the rare creature but I knew it when it was coiled up before me and poised to strike, almost. McMahon's Viper… sandy in color with brown patches, a nose end made for burrowing under the hot sand to cooler temperatures. Of course I get the one damned snake who can't stand to be bothered. Out of all of them, it's the most temperamental! As if the pain, tissue damage, and severe hemorrhaging didn't sound grand enough!

I slowly inched my body away from the creature, who pointed its narrowed, slanted eyes at me and dipped its tongue in the air to judge distance. _"That's right buddy, I'm dead if you lounge…"_ I thought bitterly. What the hell did I have to live for anymore, though? I should have never left the Vietnam hospital. Hell, I should have gone back to the prisoner camp and offered myself again. The snake finally lounged at me.

"Son of a bitch!" I yelled.

* * *

Serena

* * *

"What's on your mind, Serena?" Andrew asked quietly as he sat down beside me. We were at one of the many college pool parties (no sand on the beach to worry about) and I had recently broken away from the rowdy crowd to seclude myself at the edge of the in-ground pool. I looked up to take in his buff appearance. He towered over me, even though we were sitting down and he was hunched over. His sandy blonde bangs dipped in front of his twinkling green eyes and his tanned skin made his boyish freckles appear darker than before.

"I'm going to move away." I came out and stated my plans. There was no need to deny the fact and he, as my recent boyfriend, had a reason to know this sort of thing. He laughed warmly but I didn't catch his humor. I raised a confused eyebrow at him, surprised at the reaction he was giving me. I expected him to be angry, hate me even, but he was laughing.

"That's a pretty bold statement. Where are you planning on moving to?" His laughter faded to a smile as he observed me. I felt like he was truly looking at me, and not my body or anything else. But his eyes were different than Darien's.

"Florida. It shouldn't be too far away from this California weather, should it? And it's far enough away for me to run away from my problems to. I was thinking about transferring colleges. College ends soon so I was going to check the place out and make a decision for the next school year." I explained, seriously.

"I bet Florida is great this time of year. I always wanted to figure out, though. If you leave, you're going to have to take me with you Serena. We just got together; I'm not going to give you up that easy. I can find another job in Florida and we can get an apartment together. If you need to clear you're mind by moving away, do it, but I'm coming with you so you always have a shoulder to cry on and protection from creeps." Andrew stated bluntly.

"I'm not asking you to pick up you're life, drop it, and leave with me. This isn't some one-day rendezvous and comeback deal. This is serious. I don't want you leaving your life for me, Andrew, it's not right." I argued stubbornly.

"You obviously don't understand how in love I am with you, Serena." Andrew replied, just as quickly as my argument had started. I wasn't sure how Andrew felt, to be honest, but I refused to view him as a lover. He was a best friend to me, a brotherly type. He wasn't the kind of man I could fall head-over-heels with but he didn't seem to notice or take the hint.

What the hell? I needed a friend and a distraction.

"When are you able to leave? Classes end next week for me."


	3. Chapter 3

Author Note: I send my thanks out the my amazing reviewers. TropicalRemix, Jenbunny, and Pamela... thank you guys for sticking with this story. It feels good to just throw an idea out there, though it's admittedly not anywhere near my best, and just run with it. I know that the timeline is very vague and I'm sorry about that. I want a short story and am too afraid to add details to drag it out.

Disclaimer: I own nothing Sailor Moon.

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Even Angel's Cry

Chapter Three

* * *

I brushed my stray blonde side bangs out of my face as I dropped the last cardboard box on the floor. My long hair, which had begun to grow past my waist, was no look for a college girl. That hair, I decided, was in my past. It was also another reason to give to a charitable cause. My hair was now styled in a longish bob haircut that ended about an inch or so from my shoulders. It went well with my tanned skin and heart-shaped face. Although my face didn't look like Reese Whitherspoon's, it still had the same shape.

My eyes were large and sky blue, my lips nice and full, and my nose small but just fitting for my face. All in all, the haircut and my new appearance looked incredible with my thin yet sexily curved figure. Strong arms scooped me up, bridal-style, and I giggled. The husky voice whispered into my ear, making me squirm and giggle more. "Hello gorgeous."

"Andrew you loser, put me down!" I teased and he complied, not without a kiss on my forehead first.  
"We have to worry about unpacking before you run around placing kisses all over my face. I want this to feel like home."

I had to admit, with medication and moving away from Cali, I had improved a lot. I allowed myself to get closer to Andrew and accepted the fact that Darien was dead – more so than before at least. Now I was moving in with Andrew, who seemed like he really cared about me. My heart wasn't completely healed, but that didn't mean Andrew couldn't help mend it.

My cell phone rang and I ran to pick it up, without even looking at the caller ID. The voice was that of an old friend who I had recently departed from. Her concern was ringing through the very center of my brain – with all good intentions of course – and her mouth was running at a million miles a minute. I took a deep breath and braced myself for the upcoming conversation.

"Raye… Raye… Raye… RAYE!" I finally screamed into the phone, impatiently, and was rewarded with her attention (at last!), "I'm fine and we're moving in alright. We've barely had the chance to unpack, though. The place is as nice as it was on the internet and the beach isn't too far away. It has a different beachy air about it than California though. It's not as homey to me, I guess."

"Maybe you should come back here than, Rena. I mean, you have all of your friends and memories over here. I'm barely able to keep myself together by myself. I will need some hardcore shopping time with Lita, just so you know. Did you track down Amy yet? That is your psychiatrist's daughter's name, isn't it? Amy?" Raye pressed me for more information.

"Like I said Raye, we've barely had time to settle in. Once everything is unpacked I'll give Amy a call. Her mother said she needed to get her nose out of the books every once in a while, anyway. I fear it won't be until tomorrow though. I never really realized how much room everything I own takes up. Mostly my clothes, of course. Anyway, I better go and help Andrew. He may be a macho man but he can't do everything himself. I send my love, Raye. Buhbye." I smiled.

"And I send mine; goodbye Rena!" Raye chirped before I hung up. With a knowing smile I shook my head at my crazy friend's calling antics. She acted like I was going to get raped if we didn't talk on the phone 24/7 and I was out of her sight.

"I think we should warm this place up." Andrew whispered into my ear as strong arms slipped around my waist. He bent his head to line a trail of kisses down my neck, soft lips meting soft flesh. I broke out of his hold and eyed him sternly with my arms crossed under my ample chest.

"You know how I feel about stuff like that, Andy." My tone was serious and warning.

"I know Serena but I can't resist you much longer. The day that I finally make you mine will be the best day of my life. You will be my beautiful little wife someday, and an amazing wife you'll be." He smiled, hands now on my hips. He leaned in and placed a kiss on my forehead. "I'll wait until you're ready but I hope you know it's killing me."

"Not before marriage!" I stated promptly. "Now let's get unpacked."

Not before marriage? Was I really saying that to be truthful and meaningful or as an excuse? I knew that if Darien was here this very second that I would have thrown him on a bed and forced myself upon him. I would have no trouble getting on top of him and indulge in sexual activities but this was Andrew and it was different. Part of me was afraid that I'd pretend it was Darien while we were engaging in the activity.

I didn't want to hurt Andrew in using him like that. His intentions were sweet and charming and I didn't want to close my eyes and imagine myself in somebody else's arms. At the same time, I didn't want to disappoint myself. I was guessing that I was mainly being selfish, for once. I knew that when I woke up I'd be heartbroken to see Andrew instead of Darien and I couldn't bare the thoughts. Sharing a bed with him would be awkward enough, I was sure.

* * *

Darien

* * *

If there was one thing life in the military had taught me, it was that you couldn't trust time. Time didn't exist when you were out there fighting. They'd said I'd have a break after a year of service… I had went two years hanging on the brink of death. I had tried to hold onto the times when I had been with Serena but they were fading away, like the rest of me. Yet, with time, I had arrived back at the very camp grounds I had started off in. I was like a ghost to the camp and they couldn't believe me. Everybody swamped me with questions.

I took off the jacket and shirt of my uniform to expose the once wounded flesh that was still horribly scared. My face was burnt and I peeled off my one boot to hold it in my hand. I stared blankly past the large group before me. "If you don't remember me, my name is Darien Shields. I was a Sergeant Master when I left and traded myself to the prison camp…

"I spent weeks going through various forms of torture until I was lead to a river area. I saved a boy and ended up in a coma for the past two years. They had healed me and kept me fit and let me go. I walked across the desert, a process that took three days of miserable-ness with freezing nights and scolding days. I had a McMahon Viper strike at me…" I lifted up to expose the sole of my boot, "I barely kicked it in time. I'm dehydrated and confused and weak… I want to go home and see my girl."

"Koga…" a familiar voice from my past spoke up. I turned to see my old partner, Jed. He faced was traced into a frown. "Koga, we all thought you were dead… You can have the letters, I kept all of them. I couldn't… I couldn't bring myself to throw them away. I knew you were too strong to die but, when you hadn't showed up… Would you like to read the letters?"

Finding the most recent one I quickly ripped it open. My hands were shaking so bad that it was troublesome to unfold it. My bloodshot eyes read carefully over the words as I said them out loud in a shaky voice. _This is the last letter I will write to you… Goodbye, Darien Shields. Love, Serena. _This had to be a cruel mind trick, the desert messing with my brain due to lack of abundance of water and oxygen to my brain. "No… No… No…"

Despite my dry body I hit my knees before groveling in a ball and crying my eyes out. I was strong; I had always been strong… I wasn't this strong. My biggest fear had come true: Serena had left me in her past and thought I was dead.

"We'll notify the news, right away." Jed encouraged.

"Don't bother… I won't be missed. I was as good as dead anyway. I don't belong – don't exist – in that world anymore. Why go through all the trouble over something that doesn't even matter? Fuck fixing that obituary; tell me what my next mission is."

"You're crazy Darien, you need to go home." Jed encouraged.

"You know what Jed? Angel's cry… they bawl their fucking eyes out but not for me and not tonight. Now figure out what the hell my next mission is, all right?" I yelled.

"Darien, there's something else you don't know…" Jed whispered sadly.

"What?" I growled, unsure I'd be able to take anymore bad news. A man handed me a water bottle and I immediately downed it all. I was giving a piece of bread, as well, to keep my stomach at bay for the moment and not overfeed myself.

"Your mother passed away… seven months ago." Jed's voice was barely audible. I stopped chewing on the bread and looked at him. I was scanning for any sign that he was joking or that this was a dream. Who would joke about matters like this, though? "Why don't you visit home or go somewhere to calm herself down and make sure you're still sane?"

"The only place I want to go is on another mission." I argued, furiously. That was, until a higher-up came and appointed me on a mandatory leave. If I wasn't willing to comply, he explained how I could have my position ripped out from under me in the military. I wasn't sure where I could go though, I didn't want to be anywhere near California.

* * *

Serena

* * *

I sighed as I rested my head against Andrew. We were sitting quietly on the beach and watching the waves move in soothing, flowing motions. The sunk was sinking into the horizon, against the pool of blue that outstretched forever. The quality quiet time between the two of us felt nice. Andrew moved around to face me and look into my eyes with so much emotion it scared me.

"Serena, you are a gorgeous girl and I couldn't imagine one day of my life without you. If I hold this off any longer, I may never have enough courage to ask you. I'm truly and deeply in love with you Serena and I will give you everything I have to offer. I hope you love me as much as I love you, baby. Will you marry me?" He revealed a velvet black jewelry box from the pockets of his athletic basketball shorts.

My mouth dropped open and I wasn't sure what to say. I wasn't completely in love with him but I couldn't afford to hurt him after all he had been through with me. He had done so much for me I couldn't resist. Against my better judgment and the heeding of my heart I agreed to the marriage. He gathered me in his arms and kissed me passionately but I didn't feel anything. I was numb. I wanted to crumble up and cry but I couldn't do that. I had to be strong. I plastered a fake smile on my face as he slipped the sparkling diamond on my finger; the golden band reflecting with the sun's shrinking rays. I hated gold.

"Andrew I don't know what to say…" I spoke quietly as I eyed the ring on my ring. I kept my smile but secretly wanted to ask him what the hell he was thinking. I wanted to inform him that I had given my heart away a long time ago and had never gotten it back or would probably never get it back ever again for that matter. I let a few tears slipped down my face. "It's a beautiful ring Andrew. Thank you so much, I love you."

"I love you too, Serena." He smiled back.

The tears rolling down my cheeks weren't those of happiness. They were full of regret and guilt. They were full of sad memories and thoughts of Darien. They were a reminder that I wasn't purely happy in this relationship, not matter how hard I attempted to convince myself. It wasn't Andrew's fault he would never be Darien but it wasn't my fault that I could never love Andy.

Why did he have to be dead? Why?

I felt the rain start to pour down and become freezing cold. Andrew suggested that we go back inside. I wanted to refuse, though. Part of me wanted to stand here and wait for the rain to fill up and drown me with the ocean. I wanted to become part of nature and ignore the pain shooting throughout my heart. Typically I would rather be pained than numb, to know I was still alive, but my mind had reversed itself.

That numbness from before? Yeah, that would be great right now.


	4. Chapter 4

Author Note: So, I just found this chapter. My laptop got fixed but, for some reason, I was thinking I was on chapter five or something since this one was complete. I'm sorry guys, my laziness is overwhelming I guess.

Disclaimer: I own nothing Sailor Moon except my fanfictions.

* * *

Even Angels Cry

Chapter Four

* * *

A week after our engagement, I found myself walked on the isolated beach. There wasn't a person in sight and the air was gently breezing. I could feel it sweep through my hair and hug my sun kissed body. Over my baby blue string bikini bottoms were jean bootie shorts (what shorts nowadays weren't so tiny they could be classified as underwear?) and the matching top was clad on my chest. The sun was slowly sinking down in the horizon, again, and left a splash of colors in its quake.

Suddenly, I realized I wasn't so alone. Off into the distance was a silhouetted figure, completely blacked out. I squinted, trying to see if I could identify the boy on the surfboard. The waves were gentle today and didn't even exist as far out as he was yet he sat there. It must have been relaxing. I could remember lying out on my surfboard, previous years, just so I could think far away from everybody and everything.

The figure started to swim towards me, once I was apparently noticed. When the person got close enough to see features, I froze. The characteristics reflected all over him made my heart stop. My legs started to become wobbly and I shook my head madly. The alluring mirages that my mind had created before was reacting again. I was about to go crazy and lose it all; again.

"Serena, is that you? You're hair is shorter now, I love it. You look gorgeous." The voice drawled on quietly as he approached me. His broad, yet lean, figure was standing before me and he was playing with the tips of my blonde locks. His voice was barely a whisper.

"No, no, no! Get away!" I screamed and used my palms to push his chest away. I looked up through tearful eyes to see the shocked and hurt expression on his face."After all this time, why am I starting to imagine your with me again?"

My voice was hopeless and hurt. He didn't say anything, just wrapped his huge arms around me. This moment felt more real than anything ever before and I didn't resist the hold. I relaxed into the muscular frame and bawled my big blue eyes out. With his chin resting on my head he finally spoke, that sexy vanilla milk voice that I hadn't heard in forever. "Please tell me this isn't a dream."

"Only if you don't tell me it is, either." I whispered. He gently pulled an arms length away from me, palms of his hands still capped on my shoulders. His incredible stormy eyes roamed all over me and my body. My baby blues were doing the same to him and I couldn't deny that this was the real deal. "But, how? They said… they said you were dead."

"I know, they were wrong. They thought I was dead but now they believe it's a young man named Sapphire. He went MIA but there were no traces to me, where I had dog tags beside his barely existent dental records." He whispered and brushed some of the side-cut bangs from my face, swiping them off to the side they all resided to.

"What are you doing back here?" I questioned, curiously. Had he really been so in love with me that he tracked me down the whole way to Florida, in hopes of catching my eye? Did he plan to do the ever romantic idea of stealing the girl who was originally his, me, back? My heart started to pound with the excitement.

"Actually, this is just my break. I go back, next week."

"You go back…? Like, to the military?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Yeah, I was sent home for a visit. I was thinking of going to Cali but there's really nothing left for me there anymore. I didn't want to come back into your life, either, just to walk out. I wanted to save you from all those mixed emotions and I didn't want you to hate me for my decision. I don't want any ties back home though, it makes it that much easier when I'm in Vietnam." Darien explained and my heart sunk.

"Oh, well at least your still alive… that's always a good thing. I hope everything goes well for you back cover there. It must be really scary." I pretended to imagine. In reality, it was scary how much I had fallen in love with him and it was hurtful that he didn't want me back with equal passion. I was just a pen pal to him; all love ideals down the drain. What had I been hanging onto all these years? False hope that he truly loved me?

Suddenly, I hated myself.

"We should keep in touch… I'm still going to be around for a couple more days so how about you and I meet up at the Dip N Dots place on the boardwalk around five thirty? If that's too early, you can set a different time but I always wake up with the sunlight." He responded.

This was nothing like I had expected it would be if we had ever seen each other again. It was plainly clear that he wasn't interested in me anymore. I needed to move on and maybe God made me see him, just this once, for some closure. This was so I wouldn't have to feel guilty and I could move on with my life.

"As Benjamin Franklin said, 'Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise'." I stated with as much enthusiasm as I could possibly pull from my body. Full of disappointment I dropped my eyes to the ground, and then looked back up at him. "Did you ever miss me while you were over there Darien?"

"There really wasn't much of a chance to. I mean, I had too much on my mind to think about anybody or anything over than my mission and the war. I had a purpose and I wanted to put my entire heart into it. I'm not done yet, and I need to go back and fight. I didn't make a big enough impact yet."

"The best way to fail is to put your expectations too high…You're too busy trying to be perfect and save everybody, Darien; it's not physically possible. Look, I should probably get back home now. I'll see you tomorrow… I… Goodnight." I said, in self-confliction. I sighed as I turned my back and headed back towards the small but stylish apartment complex.

I swiped angrily at the tears that fell from my eyes as I broke out into a jog. I couldn't believe he was treating me like this… acting like I didn't even matter! When I got home I stormed into the house. Andrew was watching television and jumped to attention when I slammed the door. I marched right past him into the bedroom and he followed me. I ripped a metal box, with a lock, from underneath my bed and launched it in the very back of the closet, where it smashed against the wall and was blanketed in darkness.

"Serena, what's wrong? Are you okay baby?" Andrew asked cautiously as he ran to comfort me. He must have noticed my pink-red swelled eyes, paled skin, and silent tears. He grabbed me around the waist, from behind, and pulled me onto his lap. He cradled me like a child and slowly rocked me back and forth while my tears became violent. I gasped for breaths while he coaxed me sweetly. "Shh… it's okay baby, it'll be alright…."

I was torn. Andrew was the sweetest and most caring guy I had ever met. He was always there for me and I knew he always would be. Meanwhile Darien had a cold disposition that was indifferent towards me and was looking forward to going off to war, again. He wasn't concerned with me anymore. I was simply a figure from his past; I was a vanishing ghost of a picture in his vast and barren world. The world and emotions always seemed so vague coming from other people.

If there was one thing I knew it was that time doesn't really matter. Time doesn't exist when you're broken and your heart is so completely shattered it'll only make you bleed with every breath. Time doesn't heal pain, it just numbs it. The pain is masked because it's something you've grown accustomed to. Time was a matter of measuring longevity and I hated it. How much time had I spent waiting for long-lost letters, waiting for a coldhearted male to respond, waiting for some kind of acknowledgement? How much time had I spent thinking he loved me?

* * *

Darien

* * *

I laid on the bed at my hotel room, my hands resting on my well chiseled abs. It felt good to see Serena again. She was even more crazy beautiful than the last time I had seen her and had obviously matured. It had taken every fiber in my being to not grab onto her and kiss the living daylights out of her. Although she seemed hurt, it didn't seem to damage her that much. She didn't cry over me and that was good.

She was making it easier for me to move on and not get in her way. She obviously was living her life well enough that she didn't need me in it. Tomorrow we'd catch up like old friends and that would be it. The last time I would see Serena and then we could both go our separate ways and live different lives, the lives that we wanted and deemed fit.

I was a part of her past, I didn't belong in her future.


End file.
